what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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