Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
