can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
