we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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