so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
