Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
