Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize