Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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