hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
