Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
