i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
