yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Two words: blizzard sex
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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