Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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