remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
