Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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