erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
As shirtless as possible
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
