Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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