is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
