Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
