Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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