Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
