How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize