I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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