my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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