your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
