The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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