I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
