No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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