Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
