Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
