Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
