mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
