Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
