Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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