my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
