I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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