We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
