Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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