every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
