omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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