I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
