dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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