are you still at the devil's house?
nut hugger
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
