My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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