if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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