After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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