This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize