I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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