The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
