someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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