In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
