You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize