Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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