I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
