I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
