Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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