So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
