She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize